How to talk to your ADHD daughter about her day
Does your ADHD daughter ever struggle to answer the question, “How was your day?” That’s a really common roadblock with ADHD. Even when she really wants to talk about something, ADHD can make it difficult. Not only does she have to form the thoughts, keep track of them, and put them in order, then she has to respond! That can be a tall order. But by talking to your ADHD daughter consistently and thoughtfully, you can greatly improve her communication skills.
Tips on talking to your ADHD daughter
Before starting the conversation, pick a quiet space and reduce distractions if you can. Make sure to focus on your daughter. Speak directly to her, use short sentences and ask open-ended questions. Ask one question at a time. Then, wait for her answer. She may need a few moments to gather her thoughts. And when she answers, follow up on what she says. You can also paraphrase her response and repeat it back to her. This helps her focus on the conversation and she knows you are truly engaged with her.
Be specific
When your daughter gets home from school or a day out, don’t ask ,”how was your day?” That can be overwhelming and you may just get, “it was fine!” Instead, you can try one of these open-ended, but specific questions.
Open-Ended Questions To Ask:
- “Can you tell me something funny that happened today?” This prompts her to share a positive memory.
- “What new thing did you learn today?” You’re encouraging reflection and exploration.
- “Who did you play with at recess?” You can get a better idea of her social interactions.
- “What was the most exciting thing you did today?” Focuses on her positive experiences.
- “Was there anything that made you feel sad or frustrated today?” You’re giving her the opportunity to discuss any challenges she’s facing.
Engage with her and fully join in the conversation. That helps her learn social skills.
Follow-Up Questions To Ask:
- “Can you tell me more about that?” Encourage elaboration and detail.
- “How did you feel about that?” Explore your child’s emotions and reactions.
- “What did you do to handle the situation?” Learn about problem-solving skills.
Be patient
Avoid scolding her or showing frustration if you can. You will not do this perfectly. If you do lose your temper, apologize to her and let her know that you love her. As frustrating as ADHD can be for you, it’s far more frustrating for her. So, avoid making her feel ashamed she has ADHD. If you need a minute to regroup when you’re frustrated, take a minute. Support and reassurance make a huge difference for your ADHD daughter. These words will follow her, so make them as kind and loving as you can.
To recap, when talking to your ADHD daughter
- Create a distraction-free space if you can
- Focus on your daughter and speak directly to her
- Short sentences and specific questions
- Ask questions one at a time and wait for an answer
- Follow up on her answers
- Be patient and understanding
Remember, that the goal is to foster open communication and understanding. These questions are just suggestions. You can use these if you like, or ask others. Just make sure they are thoughtful and encourage her to talk. By doing this, you help create a supportive and safe space for your ADHD daughter to share.
What have you found most helpful? Let us know in the comments!
