Executive functions are the essential self-regulating skills we use daily to accomplish just about everything. They help us plan, organize, make decisions, shift between situations or thoughts, control our emotions and impulsivity, and learn from past mistakes. Kids rely on their executive functions for everything from taking a shower to packing a backpack and picking priorities. Executive functioning skills are learned and refined during childhood so being unorganized, forgetful, and distracted can be age-appropriate.
Most girls with ADHD have executive functioning deficits and find it difficult to acquire these skills. They are more disorganized than other girls. They see other children readily accomplish tasks that they cannot. This causes them shame and brings questioning and disapproval from adults.
They might take an extraordinarily long time to get dressed or become overwhelmed while doing chores around the house. They may start a task only to wander off and forget it needs to be completed. They may need help with starting or completing tasks like homework or chores.
Your daughter may:
- Frequently lose things and fail to keep her possessions organized
- Act impulsively, interrupt others, and say things most people filter.
- Appear lazy or unmotivated in general or avoid tasks that require sustained attention.
- Have difficulty regulating her emotions.
Girls with ADHD need help learning to manage their lives. We need to help them improve their executive function skills through direct instruction and support.
Here are ways to help:
Checklists (whether in words or pictures if not a reader)
The steps necessary for completing a task often aren’t apparent to kids with executive dysfunction, and defining them ahead of time makes a task less daunting and more achievable. With a checklist, your daughter can focus her mental energy on the task at hand. You can create checklists for nearly anything, including her morning routine and tasks to do the night before, so she leaves for school on time in the morning.
Make sure they are paying attention.
To get your daughter’s attention, you must also give attention. The best way to get her to pay attention to you is to be physically near her when giving directions. Don’t shout requests from the kitchen to the living room. Stand in front of her, make eye contact, be at eye level, or touch her shoulder, and say, “I need you to do this now.” If the request is ignored, you might ask, “What do you need to be doing right now?” If your daughter responds correctly, say, “Show me that you know what you need to do.”
Simplify directions
Use short sentences with clear instructions that you give, one at a time. If your daughter has limited working memory, don’t overload her with too much information at one time. For example, say, “Pick up your clothes that are on the floor and put them in the laundry basket.” Once she accomplishes this task, give her the next simple task, “Carry the laundry basket to the washing machine in the laundry room.”
Provide routine to her day.
Structure your daughter’s day so she follows the same tasks, in the same order, each day. But occasionally, add some variety to keep things interesting.
Allow for frequent breaks.
Frequent breaks can help your daughter regulate her mood, maintain her focus, and persist on tasks that take a while to complete. Breaks should be time-limited and brief (five to ten minutes) and are not so rewarding (i.e., playing video games) that she finds it difficult to return to a less interesting task. Break long tasks into short segments so she isn’t overwhelmed by what is expected of her. When learning new behaviors, proceed in baby steps. Try to make it fun. Know that helping her be successful is the top priority.
Use rewards
Children with executive functioning deficits often require more significant and frequent rewards to get things done. Frequent praise may work for some, but your daughter may need something more tangible. The reward must be large enough to motivate her to complete the work and should be provided immediately after they complete the task.
